Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Learning to Move
The others had already left, gone home or back in the house. My friends had left me all alone, purposely. It was only me and her, April, outside in the cool night air looking at the stars. Neither of had said a word, only silence and the glow of the moon filled the air. I saw her sitting on the damp grass in her jeans and red shirt her auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was so beautiful and out of my league. She was smart, athletic, and pretty a trifecta I missed on all points. What the hell was I thinking? I don’t belong here all alone with her.
My nervous panic began to set in. Do I smell? I knew I must stink, I could feel the beads of sweat running down my back. I must smell terrible. I was convinced my nervous stink could be smelled from a mile away. I had put on cologne earlier to combat it. Oh no, maybe I put on too much. Oh God, I can tell it’s choking the air, I can barely breathe through it, I definitely put on way too much. I’m such an idiot!
She finally broke the silence and my rapidly descending thoughts with a small inward breath. That was a good breath, right? It didn’t sound like a breath of boredom. Yes, that was a breath of contentment not boredom. There was a smile on her face. That’s a good thing she is enjoying herself and at the least isn’t bored.
My right hand started to move closer to hers. It inched closer little by little shaking the whole time. Stop! What are you doing? This is crazy I don’t stand a chance I can’t make that move. Can’t take that risk and be laughed at or slapped across the face. I didn’t want this moment to end in embarrassing failure and a red cheek. I regained control of my hand as I stopped it from moving just a few inches away from her hand. I wasn’t ready to move like that yet. My hand was frozen paralyzed with fear. Thank God I stopped myself in time. Who knows what could have happened. That could have ended disastrously. I can’t believe I was about to do such a silly thing it surely would have rui-
She had moved her hand next to mine and placed her pinky on top of mine. My whole body seemed to tighten at the touch of her soft hand. It only got tighter as her pinky started to rub up and down the inside of my pinky and then wrap around beneath mine. My throat tightened, my chest tightened, and everything else tightened. I couldn’t move at all I didn’t understand what was happening I could only shrink into myself.
Something must be done. I had to move. No longer could I just sit here. That was a signal to act, to do something. But I didn’t. She made the move again and intertwined her fingers with mine. Something must have been lodged in my throat because I couldn’t breathe and my mouth didn’t have a drop of moisture.
Somehow I managed to scrape up the will to look over at her and I saw she was looking over at me too with a shy smile that she often wore. She gripped my hand tighter and moved right up next to me. Our shoulders and thighs touched. I was just glad I didn’t pass out from the overload of impulses and the blood racing through my head. Our warm bodies leaned against each other and against the cool breeze.
She started the move, bringing her face closer to mine. The final move was here. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Was I ready? Does my breath stink? Is there anything stuck in between my teeth? They always get spinach stuck in their teeth in the movies and I had a spinach salad for lunch. There must be spinach stuck in mine too. I checked. No. I should have worn a better shirt. I should have taken mints. There were a thousand things I should have done. It didn’t care anymore. There was nothing more to be discussed nothing mor-I moved. I finally moved. Our lips touched and my brain finally shut down. My blue eyes looked into hers before closing. Lips parted and our tongues found their way into each other’s mouths running across the others teeth. Her pinky ran back up and down mine before wrapping around once again. I just held her and pulled tighter. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right. The kiss ended a few moments later but its effect never did. I had taken the leap, the risk I had been avoiding. It didn’t kill me or embarrass me by doing so. In fact I loved the results.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
The Death of Laughter
The laughter of children playing
The laughter of children playing
is a glorious sound.
is a glorious sound.
It fills me with a warm
glowing radiance. I can’t help,
but to smile and laugh
especially when it’s my own son.
My own flesh.
I can’t resist that laughs power
nothing can match it.
Seeing him ride his Red Bike
on his own for the first time,
a smile stretched across his face, and
with laughter in his heart.
Riding past the big oak tree I used to ride past
I will never forget that image
moments before his laughter was silenced.
The Green Car sped by
and I looked away for a moment.
A robin sat on a limb of the big oak tree
It suddenly flew away startled
by a sharp sound.
I turned and the Green Car
was casually driving away.
I’ll never know who
that driver was or why
they drove away.
A crumpled tangled red mass
laid in the middle of the road.
I ran towards it,
my heart pounding,
I saw nothing but shades of red
the shades of red, bright
and dark, mixing together.
I picked up his crumpled and broken body
and I ran, but I could barely see.
I buried my head into his chest
I can’t stop from screaming
And I realize that all laughter has died.
That One Day in Summer
That one day in summer
when we went swimming at the lake.
Do you remember?
The sun was setting,
those purple and orange colors
reflecting on the water,
and you were wearing that blue bikini.
You know the one.
I just swam in the cool water cracking jokes
out of nervousness while I watched you
sitting on the dock
I told myself today would be the day,
now was the time,
there was no more waiting.
I would finally say what I had meant
to say for years.
But I didn’t.
I just watched you talking to that other guy
That other guy with the red shorts and the smirk
and I pushed my feelings deeper.
That’s when I first realized
I didn’t deserve you.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
I know, the name is silly, but the idea is far from it. If you are feeling the heat (and I know it hasn't been bad) of summer sapping away at your creativity, come and see me for a revival. I'm teaching a summer writing camp on August 3-7 in the mornings (but it doesn't start till 9).
Cost is 25, with all supplies, snacks, lunch on Thursday, and admission to Ella Sharp Museum included.
Dates: August 3-7, Monday-Friday, 9-12 on most days (see brochure for details)
Interested? Sign up here.
Please come out. I would love to have a contingent of Napoleon students there...and I'm sure most of you could use the writing practice. And hey, $25 isn't much for a whole week of Mrs. G time.
Monday, June 29, 2009
PS: Come even if you don't have any writing to share. Invite a friend or seven.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Interested? Let me know. I'd love to have a Napoleon group out there. Ask your friends. There will be a nominal fee to cover the cost of materials, but it won't be much.
I'll give you more information as my friend and I hammer out the details.